I don’t have the time or the patience for a sequitur, so here I go with the non. The men’s room at work disgusts me to the point where I sometimes  wonder if I should just go into the ladies’ room and bypass the onslaught of aural, olfactory and visual attacks all together. I kid, I kid… Kind of. Maybe it would be easier if I just address the atrocities out in the open and you, gentle reader, can tell me if the problem is me.

1) To the booger bandit I demand an answer to the following query: Why, oh why do you insist on picking your nose and wiping it on the wall near the urinals? Is it really too much for you to blow your nose in a stall? Hell, I’ll settle for you picking your nose in the stall but wiping it on some toilet paper. I just don’t see how it can seem like a good idea to pick your nose and wipe it on a wall in a public place. Do you do that in your bathroom at home? Don’t answer that. I might puke.

2) To flatulent Fred I ask: Do you think I can’t hear/smell you fart when you are standing at the urinal right next to me? I know, I know, sometimes you just gotta fart, but do you need to do it with such gumption and lack of puritan modesty? I mean there is a BIG difference between letting one squeak out and letting one rip like you’re a contestant in a semipro farting  competition. If there was even a glimmer of shame on your face before, during or after the bombastic gas attack then maybe I could forgive it, maybe.

3) Non-flushers, riddle me this: Do you not see your canary yellow urine or massive deuce left in the urinal/toilet? I mean really! Drink some water (and or cranberry juice cause you may have a UTI) and flush the god damn toilet!

4) (This one is just weird, but I swear to god it happens on a daily basis) To the gentleman(men) who is/are eating sunflower seeds and spitting the shells into the urinal, I have only this to ask: What the fuck is your childhood trauma? Rule number one of the bathroom: don’t eat food while using the facilities! Especially something that is a finger food. Are you peeing while you eat/shell your seeds? Or is it a before/after ritual that cures your shy guy peeing problem? I really would like to know.

I could go on but mostly I’m starting to feel like I might be the OCD freak with the problem and the rest is kosher. Whatever the outcome, I truly believe this behavior is why we don’t get a couch. Just sayin’.

On to happier things. Lately I’ve taken up a campaign to boycott the film “The Last Airbender” by M. Night Shaymalan. You may be wondering one of two things right now: “Isn’t that a kid’s movie;  why would you boycott a kid’s movie?” or  “‘What the fuck is The Last Airbender?'” Both of them are valid questions. Yes, it is a kid’s movie that was based on a children’s cartoon series that came on Nickelodeon. But to simply call it a kid’s movie/show would be like calling the Harry Potter series a kid’s book series. Not that Airbender was anywhere near as good as HP, but you get my drift.

So anyway, Airbender is set in a mythical world inspired by Chinese, Japanese and even Inuit culture. The characters write in Kanji, use chopsticks and practice martial arts. Everything from the clothing, hairstyles, architecture and religions of the world of Airbender are either inspired by Asian cultures or direct translations of Asian cultures. While it’s not distinctly one culture or another, it’s obvious that the world is inspired by real world Asia. So if the world is so clearly Asian, then why would all the main characters in the upcoming film be cast with Caucasian actors? And it’s worse than that. The Fire nation, the main antagonists in the Airbender world, have all been cast with actors of color. Dev Patel, of Slumdog Millionaire fame, is cast as the evil Prince Zuko, a villian determined to conquer the world and destroy the protagonist Aang, who is the last Airbender of the Air nation. Further more, every Fire nation citizen is either of Indian, Middle Eastern, or Southeast Asian descent AKA dark complected.

I just don’t understand how or why all the protagonists would be cast with white actors. Do the names Aang, Katara or Sokka sound like these three would be playing them?

No, I didn’t think so. And this isn’t the rant of a disappointed fan. This is the rant of a disappointed moviegoer. There is something inherently wrong with the way Hollywood handles the casting of ethnic minorities. They can’t be the leads in a film because audiences won’t be able to connect with them, or so they say. So to a degree, I understand why more roles aren’t written for people of color in Hollywood, the studios think they aren’t sellable. Are the studios right? No. But enough of them think they are to the point where right or wrong no longer matter. The reason this movie in particular bothers me so much is because the original TV show was CLEARLY set in mythical Asia with characters of color as both the heroes and the villains. It was one of the few American programs that dared to have an all minority cast without worrying about becoming unappealing to an American audience. The idea that a studio can take something so unique and progressive and whitewash it to ensure a profit, well it just makes me furious.

The Asian influences in the show aren’t subtle… In fact I guarantee that if 10 people were shown an episode of this show and asked “Where does this show take place,” 10 out of 10 people would say Asia.

Just take a look at pictures of the main cast compared to their cartoon counterparts. Sokka, Katara and Zuko are clearly people of color. While Aang is fair skinned, everything in his world would suggest that he too is of Asian descent.

This could go on and on, and yeah it already has, but I want to leave you with a link that delves into this topic much more deeply. Besides pointing out the total bullshit Paramount and Shaymalan have been pulling since day one, it also explores  the social implications movies such as The Last Airbender are making.


Next Time (I don’t commit to timetables) on “I think it, I say it. It’s my way” : TV- A week in review\Racial equity in Hollywood part II